When a pet dies, adults and children alike grieve for the relationship they have lost. And children’s reactions to death will vary, so it’s crucial that adults take the loss of a pet seriously.
Friends and relatives may complicate the issue with such comments as, "It was only a dog." You can help validate your child’s loss by showing emotion or by saying, “This is one of the hardest things we go through when we love our pets.”
It’s normal for children—and adults—to feel denial, disbelief, and shock when a pet dies. Even a well-informed, well-prepared child may repeatedly ask when the pet will come home, angrily insist that their parents hid the animal, or look everywhere for the pet.
Children may be angry with their parents, the veterinarian, surviving pets, or even the pet itself for abandoning them. Their sadness may last for days or even months.
Children also may feel guilty and blame themselves, believing that a past moment of anger at the pet made her ill. Others fear abandonment when they lose a pet or suffer nightmares or insomnia.
All of these reactions are normal, and they may overlap; there’s no set time progression. And children may need help reaching closure. Some options: counselors with special training in family and child therapy, pet-loss support groups, and books on helping children deal with death. It also can help children to be involved in memorializing the lost pet.
