November 13, 2004
Blue State Baloney
Mom and Dad are finally accepting the fact that Bush is going to be running the country for the next four years. They were pretty obsessive about it and threw an election night party that turned sour after Minky Time (my bedtime, 10:00 p.m.).
The house was full of depressed Hollywood types moping around and shoving food in their mouths while they watched the Red states bleed all over the map on CNN.
Dad: "Well, that’s it. We’ve got a moron running the country into the ground for the next four years. A monkey! They elected him, they deserve him. We’ve got a bunch of liars and cronies in the White House!"
The more states they lost, the more they ate. They were loud and they took over the entire couch.
It really was a typical night here in LA – a bunch of liberals… drunk losers sitting in a mansion, whining about not getting their way.
I think the president dude is not so bad. Look how he’s always carrying that Barney around like an Italian man-bag.
Mom: "I know what you’re thinking, Jinky, but Hitler liked dogs and you can’t judge by that. The only reason that incompetent ass is carrying Barney off Air Force One is because Barney obviously doesn’t listen to him. He won’t come when he’s called. He won’t obey the president. Barney’s the smart one."
Then Dad started yelling at the air as if the air could do something for him.
I still think I wouldn’t mind hanging around with the president dude because he likes to hang around outside and vacation a lot on a ranch. I think that’s smart. I know from experience that you can think better outdoors. I like the Bush dude – he likes dogs.
Excerpted from The Diary of Jinky: Dog of a Hollywood Wife as told to Carole Raphaelle Davis (Andrews McMeel Publishing)
