Training People by Tess of Helena


Posted on Feb 26, 2008
By Martha Garvey

Chronicle Books, 2007, 108 pages, $14.95  

Available on Amazon.com

This handsomely-produced book is written in the voice of Tess of Helena, who is a Very Bad Dog in a cute cartoon way, which means she is a lovable canine diva, Lab division. The subtitle of the book is "How to Bring Out the Best in Your Human," but the true subtitle should be, "How to Wrap Your Owner around Your Well-Padded Paw."  Tess has even started her own advice blog.

The omniscient tone of this book owes something to relationship self-help books such as Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus and The Rules, with just a whiff of spoof. Tess assumes that her primary readers are fellow dogs, anxious to dominate the lesser species—malleable human owners.

Lots of full-color photos — mostly of Tess, and a few unnamed pals, including an impish Jack Russell and a chunky Golden Retriever - bring home the basic message: Humans are saps.We talk a good training game, but we actually tolerate everything from torn stockings to bed hoggery, for the Love of Dog. If you don't recognize yourself in at least one of Tess' embarrassing training "lessons," then I suspect that you actually own a stuffed animal, not a real dog.      

Understand: This is a lovely gag gift for your gabby friend who's worn you out with Cesar Millan worship, or for a John Grogan groupie counting the hours till the next Marley book. This is NOT a great book to give someone who is having genuine, vexing training problems with his or her dog. I suspect Tess' human, Brian Kahn, hit the bad dog lottery when he got Tess — she is just bad enough to be great.  
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